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Parent Information
As a parent, you are
your child's first and most important teacher. Being a parent can be a
wonderful, but exhausting experience. Below are some ideas that can help
you keep fun and peace in your family, while balancing parenthood with all of
the other responsibilities in your life.
- Do not be under the impression that you are the only one who is going
through this family stress; there are millions other who are also facing the
same situation. What is more important is the ability to handle the stress
rather than get suppressed from the stress.
- Try to create a peaceful and comfortable home environment. One of the best
ways to achieve a soothing effect in a room easily and more importantly
economically is to have wall paintings. Try nature scenes or baby pictures of
your little
ones.
- Whenever you feel that some problem is coming up and tasking a nasty
route, call a family meeting and discuss at length about the very cause of the
problem. Because avoiding something only adds up to make it more complicated.
Once an issue has been discussed and resolved every one will feel happy and
get on their individual responsibilities.
- Cultivate the team feeling in the family members. To enhance this team
effort you can get the whole family involved in doing work around the house.
Younger children should be assigned jobs as per their age group. Parents
should not do everything of their own.
- Take short breaks when you are doing work around your house. Relax for a
while, and do not get your concentration creped when you are involved in
family activities.
- Do the things which are required to be done. Chalk out the plan properly
and put your heart and soul in the work which is more beneficial and ignore
the rest.
TAKE
PREVENTATIVE MEASURES!! The best time to work on staying cool is before you're
hot.
Tips for staying calm with your children:
*Declare a zero-tolerance policy on the out-of-control
temper.* You must decide, for yourself, that behaving this way is simply
not okay. Remind yourself that it is possible to manage your emotions. Think
back to times when you were successful at controlling your anger. Perhaps you
bit your tongue rather than hollering at the boss. Or you were just about to let
it fly at your husband when your in-laws called and suddenly you couldn't
believe the sweetness of your own voice. We all have the power to suddenly
change our mood.
*Be prepared.* Lots of things can go wrong each
day; be ready for them. For example, if you've got babies, pack a bag with at
least one extra shirt for everyone, a complete outfit for each toddler, and
several for the infants. Stow them in the back of the car with extra diapers and
plenty of baby wipes.
*Is there anything specific that triggers your anger?*
Keep a journal for those times when you feel like you're ready to fly off
the handle. Do you notice any patterns--time of day, hunger level, lack of
exercise, a full calendar? Even noise from a TV or radio can contribute to a
feeling of over-stimulation, which can set off an emotional explosion. Create a
nurturing environment for yourself.
*Take care of
yourself.* We're more likely to react to a situation - rather than to
simply act - when we haven't gotten enough sleep or we haven't been eating
right. Start your day with a light breakfast that includes carbohydrates and
protein. Then continue to eat for energy throughout the day.
*Daily
exercise* provides a physical release to help you control anxiety and
aggression throughout the day. A half-hour of kickboxing can release tension you
didn't even know you had.
*A regular routine of prayer or meditation* can
calm a chaotic mind. Sit quietly for at least 15 minutes a day. Practice a few
yoga stretches when things get tense.
*Decide how you'll deal with
certain situations before they arise.* What makes you want to blow your
top? Whether it's toddler temper tantrums or the preschooler's occasional whine,
determine how you will handle those things beforehand - while you're calm.
*Understand your child.* Read up on child
development and put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself: "What's it like to be
two and not have the skills to express what you want?" "What's it like for a
newborn who finds herself with a gut-wrenching bellyful of gas and doesn't
understand why it hurts?" Kids act the way they do for a reason. Often, there's
a developmental milestone associated with a child's behavior. Understanding the
reasons behind our kids' actions can go a long way in helping us develop a sense
of empathy, compassion and, ultimately, tolerance.
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT *Take a few deep
breaths.* Diaphragmatic breathing helps reduce stress. This will also
give you a time-out, long enough to make a rational assessment of the situation
and to help you regain a sense of control.
*Visualize* yourself
as the cool, calm, person you strive to be. Whom do you know who embodies these
traits? Imagine this person's reaction to the situation.
*Stop.
Think. Then speak.* Remind yourself of the importance of keeping yourself
under control. If you feel anger building inside, don't pick up a baby. Ask for
help or wait until you are calm.
*Consciously lower
your voice.* Yelling will only make a child angry and defensive, and it
can scare a young child. A soft tone says you're in control.
*Don't
catastrophize.* Resist the temptation to blow something out of
proportion. Avoid using the words "always" and "never" when you talk to yourself
and others.
*Distract
yourself.* Is there any way you can laugh about the situation? Ask
yourself: what is the real significance of the situation that triggered my rage?
It's more important to model a healthy approach to stress than it is to win
certain battles. Choose those battles carefully.
Try
some of these sites to help learn anger management techniques:
An online
course (free) for anger management techniques for adult-child
relationships:
http://www.k-state.edu/wwparent/courses/fireworks/index.htm
Constructive
anger management techniques for children,
parents, couples, adults and teachers.
http://www.angriesout.com/
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